Today is the BYU-Utah rivalry football game. I didn't realize that until I went to Costco and a good 75% of the people were decked out in either red or blue. The reason I didn't realize it is because I just plain old don't care. And as so many people were posting on Facebook about the rivalry, I had to put in my little bit to go on the record that I just didn't care. James likes to tell everyone that I'm a Cougar fan. Or that he's still working on me and I'm gonna convert and become a Ute fan. So I wanted to go on the record that I'm not a Cougar fan, even though I went there, and I'm not a Ute fan. I'm just a "Not a Fan". But since I'm feeling kind of reflective and contemplative tonight, I thought I'd explain why.
I used to be a fan. I did, after all, spend a good 5 years of my life (if you count my year-long internship before I graduated) as a BYU student. But then I married James, who comes from a big family of big Utah fans. For the first couple Christmases, I would get Utah crap for Christmas. And lovingly harassed constantly for going to "that school down south."And since I wasn't that much of a Super Fan in the first place (I can only remember going to a few football games in those 5 years), I slowly let go of being a "fan" until James started to think I was "converting." But I wasn't converting, per se. Its more a matter of protecting myself - if I don't care, the teasing and harassment don't get to me. I don't really handle that kind of stuff all that well. I mean, I handle it fine. But, I don't particularly like it. So if I don't care, it doesn't matter.
And then you can add in the fact that as I have spent more time married to a Utah fan than I spent as a BYU one, I have stared to see little qualities about former and current BYU fans that I am definitely not a fan of. Of course, since I'm still not a Utah fan, I won't make generalizations and say that all BYU fans/students are a certain way. But I started to see enough of them that it really did make me less of a BYU fan. Things like the BYU fan at the airport (in Arizona) commenting to perfect strangers that they just don't wear red in their house. And when, upon finding out that we were from Utah, tried incessantly to get us to divulge where our allegiances lied - and then throwing in a little underhanded insult about my son the Ute fan. (Although, upon writing this, I realize that those Utah fans I've been around for the past 8 years have done that to me constantly, so I can't fault this guy specifically for that. I think I just didn't like him in general.) But more to the point, I've seen the people who think they are someone more choice and special because they have gone to BYU. The ones who think their children would probably pick up less bad habits at church if they were going to a special church filled with only BYU students and their kids. I can't think of any more examples, but I've definitely seen enough "Cougars" who honestly think and act like they are a breed above the rest, more righteous and holy, because they go to BYU.
So, on top of getting tired of all the harassment, I've slowly become less of a BYU fan. But, after all, I did go to school there. I spent a good 5 years there. And they were good years. I had good friends and fun times and good memories. Granted, I don't really see or talk to my BYU friends much, in part due to the fact that they are all spread all over the country, back to wherever they all came from, and in part due to the other fact that I suck at keeping in contact with people and staying friends with people. But they were good friends, and it was good times. And it was my life long goal to go there - I didn't even apply to go to college anywhere else, I just wanted to go there. So to actually "convert" and become a Utah fan, I would feel like I was a traitor. A traitor to my old self who wanted to go there, went there, and had a good few years there. And a traitor to my good friends from there, who are good people and not self righteous idiots. So, since I'm no longer such a BYU fan, and since I refuse to become a Utah fan (and really, I have never been given any good reason to become one), I've just decided to be Not a Fan.
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